Hey you! Beautiful you!

I know you may not be feeling beautiful right now, and that’s okay. You may be going through big stuff where you can't see a way out, and that's okay. You may feel alone, you may be scared, that's okay too. You may feel trapped, overwhelmed, hurt, betrayed, always wrong… that’s understandable and it's all okay.

Why? Because from my experience I absolutely know that in spite of everything you've been through you're not alone and a different future is possible. You have the universe, consciousness, me and every other author in this book by your side. No matter what's going on for you right now or how good or bad you may be feeling, you are amazing and courageous for reading this book, for never giving up.

Things are about to change for you in magical, miraculous ways you never thought possible. How do I know? Well, because I'm magical and when I care about someone, their life gets better as if by magic! It's one of the potencies I have.

So my friend, I have your back, and I wonder what else is possible now? I wonder what your magical potencies are that you have never acknowledged? Are you ready to dive into possibilities with me? Let's go for it!

Let's start with 'that day.'

You may not remember it. You may not even be cognitively aware of it. ‘That day’ may have actually occurred in another space, dimension, reality, non reality, or even another lifetime. You may have hundreds, thousands, or even trillions of 'that day's.’

What is 'that day'?

That day is the day you made yourself wrong. That day is the day you chose to separate from your awareness. That day is the day you made abuse bigger than you. That day is the day you bought the lie you are wrong, alone, helpless, or a victim. That day is the day you started lying to yourself. That day is the day you gave your power to choose away. That day is the day you stopped choosing for you and started choosing against you. That day is the day you broke down and sobbed. That day is the day you hid the bruises or lied about how you received them. That day is the day you told yourself they didn't mean it, they're just really stressed, that if you just changed your behaviour, if you just cut yourself up into smaller pieces to please them, it would all be okay. The conflict would end if you could just get smaller – sooooo small no one would notice you, then it wouldn't be so bad. That day is the day you bought the lie it was all your fault, that you deserved it. That day is the day when you gave up on you. That day is when you no longer had your back or the backs of your kids. That day is the day you got you were dying inside. That day is the day your body and/or your being started to choose death.

The thing about 'that day' is that you have also experienced it another way. Again it may not have occurred in this lifetime, you may have experienced it in another space, time, dimension or reality. What I know for sure is you HAVE experienced this other sort of 'that day.'

How is this ‘that day’ diffferent?

It's that day you knew that something greater was always possible.

It’s that day you knew you had total choice and the ability to choose and change anything that wasn't working for you. It's that day you were adored, seen and received from a space of sweetness and kindness. It's that day when you just knew you were beauty walking, joy in motion, when you knew you were magical. It's that day you laughed, sang, and knew you were free to be all of you. It's that day when you didn't have to look over your shoulder. It's that day when someone raised their hand to swoosh a fly from their face and you didn't freeze. It's that day you were free to love another. It's that day you knew you are and have always been a gift, here to change the world.

Oh… and that day was the day you knew you were never wrong, ever… ever. You are not wrong. There is nothing wrong with you. There never was and there never will be, okay?

It's the day you knew you are a miracle walking.

Do you remember that day? How long ago was it? Can you recall it? Was it this lifetime or another?

Sweet being, can you do something for me? Allow your energy to expand out in all directions including down into the centre of the earth. Now, fill the room you're in. Great! Now expand out to fill the building you're in. Awesome. Now fill the country you're in. Cool! Now expand your energy to fill our sweet planet. You're really cool at this! Now expand further out to the galaxies and beyond…

See…how amazing are you? Did you just do that without thinking? Was it easy? And maybe even a little bit fun? Do you feel any different? Maybe lighter?

Right now think of someone or something that has bothered you or frightens you. Get the energy of it. Does it feel heavy? Constricted? How would you describe the energy? What are you aware of in your body when you think about it?

Now expand the energy baby! More, more, more… and more. Yipeeeee! Yes, yes, more, more, make it infinite! More, bigger, bigger bigger… awesome beautiful you. Now what's happened to that energy that was sticking you? Has it disappeared? How are you feeling? Better, worse, the same? Lighter? What would happen if you used this tool every time you felt yucky?

I'm about to share something that seems too easy, too magical, can't possibly change your life. I get it! I really do! A few years ago I was under the biggest pile of poo, and what was really crazy was the poo had been there for so long I thought the poo was me!

I didn't get it was just poo made up from all the mean things others had said to me – and I had said to myself – about me and my body. It was all the judgements and points of view (POV) I had created, invented, bought from others and sold to myself as real and true about me, and I gave myself the job of covering myself in the poo (making my problems and wrongness of me real) so that that's all anyone noticed. What I didn't realise is that every part of that poo was a lie!

Your POV create your reality, your reality does not create your POV! When I changed the POV of my poo being real and true – when I chose the POV that it was a lie, magic happened. The poo pile started to get smaller and smaller – as did my problems… the problems that only a few moments before seemed so solid and unchangeable.

Opportunities magically started to show up. I started to make money. Beautiful people showed up around me that did not see a pile of poo, but the beauty and gift I was to them and to our world. I started to laugh again, I started to sing. I started to have my own back, I started to have my kids' backs. I started to choose for me, not against me. I started to choose to live.

So here are the starter tools I used that changed everything for me. Tools that seem soooo easy you may think it won't work.

It was 'that day' when I chose to give these tools from Access Consciousness® a go.

1) Light and Heavy. If something feels light it's true for you, if it feels heavy it's a lie.

If I said to you, “You are a horrible person” does that feel light to you? Does it feel heavy? I'm assuming it felt heavy. Why? Because it's not true for you, it's a lie. I just lied to you and that's why you felt a heaviness and a contraction in your body. If I said to you “You are a gift” does that feel light or heavy? I'm assuming it was light and perhaps even made you smile, why? Because it's true for you! You ARE a gift! A beautiful gift… yes YOU!

If the way your partner, friend, lover or family member speaks to you feels heavy, it's a lie and not true for you. If it feels light it's true for you. So when they say something to you and you catch that it’s heavy just acknowledge it's not true for you. You don't say it to them, just to yourself (with your inside voice), 'Oh that's heavy. It's not true, they just lied.' … and then use this next sentance to say bye bye to that energy, “It's not true or real, it's a lie, bye bye!”

If my second question felt heavy to you, that's ok… you have just made your pile of poo so real that it's true for you, and you probably have the POV that you're not a gift. That will change when you drop the poo POV so you can receive what's true… that you're a gift.

While you’re still buying some poo as true, allow me to let you know, beautiful you, right now, what's true for me…what I know for sure.

You are a gift. A beautiful, magnificent gift. This may be the first time you have been told this. I wish you would have been told this before you came into this world and every day thereafter just how amazing you are. Yes you, reading this now. You my friend are beautiful, special, a gift. I see it, I know it. I'm sorry for all the mean things that were ever said to you. I am so, so sorry. I'm sorry if you didn't realise until this moment that you are beauty walking and you are here to change the world.

I began by paying attention every day to how my body and being were responding to the words people said and the things I thought. If they were heavy I knew it was a lie and I'd say to myself, “You are a lie, bye bye! I'm not going to lie to myself any more.” I also noticed when I or other people said things that were light, and then I would say, “Oh, I just told myself something true for me.” I'd then expand that yummy energy and ask, “Please show me, consciousness, what else is possible and how does it get better than that?

2) If I choose this, what will it create?

Once I realised that if it's light it's true, I started to only choose things (people, events, parties, work, homes etc.) that matched that energy of lightness. If I was asked out or I was choosing what to eat, or I was about to say something to someone, I'd take a moment and ask, “If I say yes to this, or ask this, think this, worry about this or do this what will it create?” And then I would not look for the answer. I was actually asking to perceive the energy of what shows up when I asked the question. If it felt light I'd do it, and if it was heavy I'd say, “Oh, if I choose you I will create more poo! More wrongness, more lies, more problems, no thanks, not today!” I'm creating my life now, no longer on auto poo pilot. (Giggles.)

Hang on…. creating your life? I had no idea I could create my life. I was on auto poo pilot and my life was all about surviving and maintaining the poo (problems).

Wait a minute Grace, are you telling me I can choosing something totally different from my problems? Don't I have to fix them first? Understand them? Get over them? Get through them? Deal with them?

Well beautiful ones, the answer is no. You don't have to fix what's wrong in your life to have a greater one show up. That was a huge light bulb moment for me. I didn't have to roll around in my poo, trying to figure out why it was there, trying to figure out why more and more of it kept showing up no matter how much I looked at it, fixed it, thought about it, spoke about it, got therapy about it.

So Grace, you're saying I can just leave the ‘thinking and fixing’ and just choose something totally different?

Yes!

The way I freed myself and continue to create the life I choose is by not buying the lies (heavy poo poo pile) I had around me, and moment by moment followed the lightness. Without even lifting a finger (or shovel) my pile of poo (problems) sorted themselves out with ease, or just plain disappeared as if by magic. Or I'd hear something, or bump into someone who could assist, or I'd have an idea or awareness just pop in out of the blue. Without going into details, my pile of poo was impressive! Financial, emotional, health and family issues. It was a huge mess that if you knew me then you would have probably agreed that it would be impossible to change.

Held within these words of this chapter are some of the first steps and tools I used to change everything. It was 'that day' for me that I made the demand that I stop with the self abuse. It was 'that day' I chose to live. It was ‘that day’ that it was no longer okay to create, choose and invite abuse into my reality. It was ‘that day’ I said to myself while sitting in an Access Consciousness® class, “No more, this stops now, even though I can't see a way out, even though I feel so alone, even though I feel so pathetic and wrong, this stops now!” It was ‘that day’ I realised that everything I said in the previous sentence was heavy – when I said, “I'm alone,” it was heavy. When I said, “I am wrong and bad,” it was heavy. When I said, “I can't get out or see a way out,” it was heavy. That was ‘that day’ I got that it was all a lie and those lies were keeping the abuse in existence. It was ‘that day’ when I started to have my back. With each choice I made, and with each lie I said bye bye to, I became more of the beauty and magic I now know is me.

My 'that day's’ are now filled with adoring, magic, wonder, travel, running classes all over the place, giggles, laughter, questions, choice, possibilities and contribution. And I keep asking what else is possible and how does it get better than that?

Beautiful ones, please know that creating a poo life is a choice. No choice is a choice. Going into the wrongness of you is a choice. Giving power to the energy of abuse or your abuser is a choice. Trying to work things out is a choice and so is choosing to make your problems more real than the gift of possibility you be and are. In every ten seconds you can choose to live on Planet Problems (that's the place where you buy all the lies that you can't change your life, where you make judgements, abuse, violence and problems true and real) or…you can fly baby! Choosing to fly is choosing Planet Possibilities (that's the place where you create your life, one choice at a time, where you are no longer functioning from auto poo pilot, where you choose and have a life of ease and joy and you function from infinite possibilities.

For me the change happened when I chose to no longer tell myself what or who I was afraid of or what could not change (or whatever else I thought the problem was). My life changed on that day… those moments I chose to speak about possibilities, to follow the lightness no matter how flickering it was. I asked the universe to show me something beautiful. I asked the universe to show me what else was possible and how does it get better than this? I did this no matter how good or bad I was feeling. Every time I asked, the universe delivered, and that's how a new life of infinite possibilities was created where this once wrong, abused pile of poo existed.

'That day' was the day I broke up with abuse.

It's a memory now… ‘that day’. I still don't quite comprehend how it all changed so easily once I followed the lightness and possibilities. I don't choose to try to understand it. I just know it worked, it still works and it will work for you too!

What else is possible, beautiful you?

Universe, please show the magical being who is reading these words something beautiful today…

'That Day'

Grace's chapter contribution to 'A New Day Dawns - Breaking Up With Abuse'